I want more people to hate me.

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

An extraction of his speech - My favourite part
I now say this to you: be hated.
It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

I think this is really cool - Being yourself is always difficult. If u can be, and people like u for who u are, isnt it great?
Even if they dun, u're just being yourself. Wats the big deal?
That said, saying is easy. Doing is difficult.

My all-time favourite Sammi Cheng-親密關係

There are many selfish people around.. I dun blame them, who doesnt want the best for themselves? But there are many levels of selfishness, some people are so mega selfish, the things they do affect many others. We cant stop such people from being around us (esp when it comes to work), but I'm sure we can do things to counter their selfish acts.
Instead of grumbling about how inconsiderate my colleague is, I'm gonna learn to work fast. I'm not going to be affected by him/them anymore. I know I can!

Before last week, I haven taken leave/break for a long time.. Prob since the start of 2010. Other than the time I was in China, anyway it didnt felt like a break cos the trip was so much more tiring than work.

After last week's short break, I realised not having a break, in a way, is good. U just keep working, and time passes really fast and the pay comes in month by month. Its after the break that u'll realise going back to work sucks. Its tiring, I dun have time to do things I want, I dun have enough rest, I dun have time to meet up with frens & I cant go out for supper when I crave for prata!! Especially so when I just started on a new drama! Forgotten when was the last time I watched one, prob months ago. And now I'm so addicted to it, I think of taking mc every morning, every now & then during work I just wish I can go home.

I just feel restless when I'm at work.. How to get back the motivation?

Daddy to Baby

I guess I can hold you
Sometime before you've grown
Let me tie your shoes
For soon you'll tie your own
You're learning the don'ts and do's
You're young and have the time
I know the day will come
When you do all these things alone
I want you to grow strong
Than your daddy could ever be
All the grand age of 2 you can do no wrong
And when you find success
There will be no soul prouder than me
So will you let me carry you?
One day you'll walk alone
I cannot bear to miss one day
From now till you've grown

Gotta learn this- 心淡

I'm in love with a watch that cost $395. After discount, its $295. Worth the buy?

Today is just another normal day for me. Probably the best thing so far is not having to go to work. I dunno wats wrong but I've been in a really bad mood the past week or so. Every single thing that can irritate me will irritate me. This has never happened before, & I dun think there's any way I can control my mood.

Just hoping to get pass this stage soon :)

祝我生日快乐

張學友-離開以後

I cant stand wat I'm going through now.. Work is ok, but not the long working hours, not the irregular dinner/no dinner kind of life. It sucks to the max, seriously. And I dun sleep well on most nites, even on wkends.. DAMN IT!

Opportunity

Have u had the experience of wanting to do something, but u keep thinking u had all the time in the world to do it & u keep procrastinating... Then one fine day everything that could stop u from doing it happens all at the same time. No matter how hard u think & try, there's no way out.

Even when u've convinced yourself that u shldnt waste time regretting, it does get back at u every now & then.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. ~Mark Twain

I wish...

I dun have to work on all mondays.
I can go shopping every week & buy everything I like.
I can take a cab home after shopping.
I can have meals with frens often.
I can end work early this week cos I haven shop enough la!!

Sometimes I'm so mindful of how people think of me that I keep acting in ways that I think they will like, and I end up losing myself. I dun recall being like this in the past.. I wish things could just happen naturally, without me thinking, making plans & making them happen.

Cos the more u plan, the more things may not go according to wat u want. Most importantly, its so mental draining. I'm so tired!

有一种目光，直到分手时，才知道是眷恋；
有一种感觉，直到离别时，才明白是心痛；
有一种心情，直到难眠时，才发现是相思；
有一种缘份，直到梦醒时，才清楚是永恒.

有一种目光，彼此相识时，就知道有一天会眷恋；
有一种感觉，未曾离别时，就明白有一天会心痛……

Sweetie!!

This little sweetie is my cousin.. The last time I saw her was years ago, she was still a baby who only noe how to eat her fingers. Now she can tell me her name, how old she is, and play with us. Time flies.. Am happy that she's such a lovely girl now. I hope she stays like this forever... Amber I love u!

I so wanna have a daughter after seeing her today. I want a daughter so bubbly, cute and pretty. I need to find someone with huge eyes, and pray hard my daughter takes after his eyes.

Enlightened!

I woke up to use the toilet & I couldnt go back to sleeeepp, ahhh!!!

Didnt mean to emo so early in the morning, but I was back in bed trying to go back to sleep & my mind just drifted to think about some friends who just experienced break-up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Then it got me thinking about a few years back when my bro broke up with his first gf. The story that he shared never fail to make me cry. The last time he went to meet her (after they broke up) -he wanted to pass her a gift. He didnt take the chance to talk to her, but left as soon as he gave her the present cos he was going to cry & he didnt want her to see that. Whenever I think of this I'll cry, even after so many years. Maybe I couldnt bear to see my bro or anyone go through this kind of heartbreak.. Even when I haven been through this, I can feel the pain..

Then of cos it made me think back about my own emotions in the past 2weeks. It was kind of a transition period of my life - change in work environment, jobscope, colleagues, eating & sleeping habits, etc. All this would have been sufficient to affect my mood, but I kept thinking it was because of someone who've left the bank. Maybe he did influence me a little, well its not important anymore.. I just feel silly thinking I was feeling 'sad' over someone whom I dun even noe much about & wat he was thinking. And someone who have moved on & we may never get to meet & interact ever after.

So why the hell am I making a big fuss over all this, when probably many other people are going through even greater pain than me..

Cant believe I'll wake up one fine day & get enlightened. It feels great to finally decide to put down some things & let fate bring me to wherever I shall be. :)

愛了就知道

Time flies! 1more week & I've worked for 10months. Well it isnt a long time, but I guess its time to think of some plans for the future. In the past 1 or 2months, I've seen so many transfers & resignations in my department and I realised thats how the banking industry is like. Everyone is moving around, looking for better jobs & challenging themselves constantly. And I have friends who graduate around the same time as me, already taking 2nd level CFA, etc.

All this serves as a good reminder to myself that I cant sit by & waste time. To have a better career, to be able to try different areas in the finance industry, I need to keep improving myself. Am thinking of taking up CFA or Masters, but I dunno if I'm ready to pick up studying again.. And studying something which I've never been interested in.. is indeed a challenge. I guess taking up Masters wont be that soon cos I'm already feeling the burden of having to repay my $18k school loan. The repaying has just started & will take 6years, I dun need another $20 or $30k loan to come in soon.

CFA is also challenging cos I'll have to commit to studying for the next 3 to 4years while working. Work itself is already time-consuming & mental draining. All I wanna do on weekends is to rest well, relax & spend time with frens & family. I just have to convince myself soon, set the goal for myself then work towards it!

The price of success: dedication, hard work, and a devotion to the things you want to see happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I love 歌神!