I've learnt my lesson.. will not be lazy anymore, especially if its that painful!!

Been saying I need to re-format my laptop cos its giving me alot of problems, has virus, etc.. but I've been so lazy, till it finally died last week. Really died cos I cant even switch it on anymore.. Thats not a problem cos its still under warranty, but I haven done a backup for months! All my songs, videos, photos, resumes, cover letters, are all gone now!

Thats not the end.. that little heartache is nothing compared to this. I've been having cracked lips for very long too.. I think since feb? I need to apply alot of lipbalm everyday, but I've been relying on it too much I think it doesnt work now. Woke up yesterday morning with a very swollen, red and painful lip. Its so painful I cannot move my mouth abit. Its so bad that even when I drink water, it hurts. Skipped dinner just now because of that.. and another big problem, I cannot laugh, its damn pain even when I smile abit. If I see a doctor earlier, it wont worsen to this stage.. I've booked to see a chinese doctor tmr, and I'm prepared to stop eating all fried and oily food, plus drink very bitter medicine. But, I really cannot live without chicken wings, fries and potato chips leh.

Had steak with my family on monday.. love the ribeye steak, its very nice! And having spinach and carrots for sides is quite special..

Today had dinner with jy at Fisherman's Wharf.. its not too bad.

I had the salmon fillet, I like it!

Jy made me a nice gift - a book with pics and stories of us..

And there's Moses inside!

Hahaha, so funny!!
I like it alot.. thanks JY!

Its nice to have a camera cos I dun have to wait for frens to upload the pics, then send me online.. By then, its usually 1 or 2weeks later. Or most of the time I dun even remember to get the pics from them..

Had dinner with my sec sch frens last nite. Can we think of a name for us? Its weird calling u guys sec sch frens. Maybe Eleven? Since there's eleven of us.. Shall change when we think of a better name ok.

Had a nice dinner with Eleven.. thanks guys!


The mango cake was quite nice!

Cooked dinner today for the second time.. this time round with desserts. A very complicated dessert for beginners like me, so I did nothing the whole day but prepare, prepare and prepare..

Thats the same soup I cooked the other time.. its slightly better but still not ideal and I still dunno why..
My family's favourite - Tougay with oyster sauce
My favourite - Pork chop

Finally, the dessert - mango pudding! Its so tedious I dun think I'll make it again unless more people tell me its nice..

Birthday Present

Time flies.. my birthday is round the corner again. Nothing fanciful this year, I just wanna have a simple dinner with my family. And dinner with some close friends, thats about all. I've thought about it, there's nothing I want or need badly, so please dun get any presents for me. I'll be more than happy to just receive birthday wishes from friends. Sometimes a simple sms, a handmade gift or birthday cards mean so much more than presents. :)

That said, I'm feeling guilty cos I just bought an EXPENSIVE birthday present for myself!! I said there's nothing I want or need badly because I've just bought the thing that I've always wanted. I think about it every birthday, and its always the struggle between 'I'll get it' and 'but I dun really need it'.

I already have the best present and it will keep me happy for quite long, so save up the money and treat me to Starbucks next time!

Just realised I haven been posting pics here in such a long time.. haven been taking alot of pics anyway, so here's all I have!

Had a very tiring day yesterday that I slept a record-breaking 16hour last night. Was called to help out with a wsc event in ntu, it turned out that a group of 4-5 volunteers had to take care of groups of 23-25kids from morning till 5pm. My group of 4 had to take care of 24kids, one of the volunteers had to leave after lunch, leaving the 3 of us with the kids. It was very stressful cos the thing they enjoy most is running around! We have to move around to different game stations the whole day, have to watch them go toilet, bring them to lunch, play games with them, catch them back when they stray off, shout cheers with them, blah blah.

Everything else aside, the kids are very fun, thoughtful and random. Some of the younger kids keep calling us teacher when none of us look like one. And this very sweet girl wrote us a note, telling us the outing is very fun, she's enjoying herself and she wanna thank us for taking care of them. At times they get quite random too, my volunteer was asking them if anyone wants to go to the washroom, one kid raised her hand and asked 'Teacher, 等一下在bus可以吃面包吗?' Totally no link. Throughout the day they'll keep asking us such random questions to make us laugh.

The funny thing is, I dreamt of the kids last night. They were biting my hands.. I woke up in time just as they were about to bite my face. Haha, must be because I was with them the whole day so they appeared in my dream, but they're not that scary. In fact I miss them all!

巾帼枭雄

Recently all of us are watching 巾帼枭雄, its damn nice I think I like it more than 家好月圓. The good acting and extremely exciting plot is hard to come by. If u're as free as me, go watch it!

I just took up a tuition assignment, hope to take up more so I wont have to laze around at home everyday. I've been so lazy its scaring me.. I go to bed at 3 or 4am but I wont fall asleep till 7 or 8am, then I'll end up waking up at 2pm. My sleeping hours are so messed up!!

I'm planning to write down the list of things I need to do next week, like re-formatting my com, finish reading the 2 storybooks I've borrowed weeeeks ago etc. And maybe play more bejeweled and finish my word search book.

Slept for 14hours last nite and woke up today afternoon feeling quite guilty. Not because I slept for 14hours, but because its been a month since exams ended and I haven found a job, and I haven been doing anything meaningful.

I feel useless just sitting at home waiting for dinner every night so I made dinner today!! I made this very simple soup with corn, carrots, red dates, pork ribs, etc. Making soup is quite easy, u just have to throw in everything and let it simmer long enough. Its my first time and I think it turned out ok, we finished the whole pot of soup! But my steamed fish was a failure cos the sauce was too salty. It was really fun cooking, I'm going to learn more dishes and cook more!

Moses Chan

The Moses fansite that I've been visiting for the past one year is on hiatus now.. because this fan is now in love with Hugh Jackman she's giving up on moses. Alright, its a disappointing but valid reason. I started liking him since end of 2007, its been less than 2years now and its already slowly dying off.. but this fan have been spying moses since 2005.. its a damn long time so she's really good. If she fall in love with moses all over again one day, it will be the day she reopen the site. when will that be? will it even happen? when u're already in love with a new guy, will u still miss your ex? Not that I cant find moses' news myself on the net, but she's amazingly resourceful she always find additional stuffs like video clips, radio clips, magazine scans, pics of him on others' private blog, etc. I'm gonna miss out alot about him without her.. but moses, I still love u!

I think I'm good

I just have to do a few things: get changed into my swimming costume, pack my toiletries and get ready to walk to the swimming pool. Within that few minutes, I can make Sengkang rain!!!!! Without fail, it will happen. I'm really good.

Hey how's everyone? Haven been here for so long.. been just resting since exams ended, sent out lots of resumes but only had one interview so far.

So much have happened in the past one or two months.. and I haven been blogging since exams ended cos I needed some time for myself to sort out my thoughts and to accept all the things that happened. After a week I'm perfectly fine now.. no longer upset or unhappy over anything, and I hope to remain this way.. to stay happy no matter what, cos life is really that simple, good or bad, happy or sad.

Just finished a Hk drama 建築有情天. I dunno how I missed this show when it was aired in Hk 2years ago, but its a very motivating show. I'm envious of the architects in the show cos they're so passionate about their job. Having the passion is really good, cos u'll be sacrificing your sleep, weekends, holidays etc, but u're still a happy person cos its for something u really love.

Not too sure if this is convincing enough, but I always learn things from the Hk shows I watch, its really not just for fun or for Moses that I keep watching dramas. (he's not in this show but I love it so much) The thing about the dramas, they always have a message to convey and its always motivating! Probably its about the timing too, if I watch this show 2years ago it may not have any impact on me, but right now that I'm in the midst of looking for a suitable job, its helpful.

Talking about dramas, is the show 爱 that nice? I've heard that alot of dads, mums, grandparents like the show, my grandma is one of them. She was at my place today, and she didnt wanna go home with my uncle at 6.45pm cos she said she'll miss the front part of the show. For that 15mins of the show, she's willing to take public transport back at 10pm. Hahaha, so my drama addictions are inherited from my grandma!

I'm taking a break from portfolio management for a while, waiting for Moses' coffee show on scv at 10.30pm!! Exams started on 14th and will only end on 29th.. Its been dragging for too long I'll go crazy soon. Wanna have a really good sleep after exams, go swimming.. and my shows are waiting for me!

Had my last tutorial today, really LAST if I'm never going to be a student again. I've been quite certain that I wont wanna study again, yet deep down I'm hoping this is not the last.

Its a blessing to be a student, really. Its indeed stressful, we have tonnes of work, assignments, datelines to meet and all, but when u look back, dun u actually enjoyed the journey, probably met some good frens along the way, had some fun times together? And I think no matter how busy we are, once lessons end, its all our free time and up to us to decide wat to do with it. For the past 3years as a student, I think my friday has always been a free day. How nice is that? I'm going to miss this the most!

In less than a month's time I'm going to graduate, I'm just starting to wonder, how did the 3years past just like that? Its just so fast I think I missed out alot, from academic to non-academic, dropped some frens along the way and so on..

I'm actually having this strong feeling that I wanna be a student again, its so weird how this thought just came by so suddenly and strongly.. I hope it happens, but it will only happen when I find something I really like and would like to gain professional knowledge in that area, its not going to take place in the near future anyway, but I'll look forward to that. :)

Its an emotional night.. Must be the lack of sleep the past few days, and some things thats been kept in the heart for too long there's still no solution. It isnt resolved yet, but like wat Sy said, crying is a good way to throw some burden off. At least some was just thrown away, prob when I go to bed later, I will throw more.

Its back to the expectations that I have for people around me. With expectation there is always disappointment. I wanna just love myself and no one else. Sorry friends, its so selfish of me. But I dun wanna face all this shit anymore.

I had a very scary dream this morning that I woke up in tears! My roommate, my neighbour and I are all illegally staying in hall, and I dreamt that the hall people came to check our rooms when we were all sleeping, and they barged into our rooms while we were asleep. And they were all uncles! Then they started throwing our things out of the room, and we werent allowed to wash up or change. I started worrying for my exams, 3 weeks left and there's no place for me to study, so I started crying, then my roommate cried too. Then I woke up and found myself still safely on my bed, no uncles around, but I was in tears. Probably the dream was too real, and I realized how important my hall is, especially in the next few weeks!

After so many lessons learnt, I thought I'm better at judging people, but I'm not. I still suck at it. I'm disappointed with myself for falling for the same thing again and again.. I think life is really too short for u to keep making the same mistakes. Because we do take time to recover and build up confidence again. Probably I need to fall a few more times to become wise? I hope not.. cos it really hurts.

Been losing sleep like nobody's business, damn! Been doing nothing except fyp this whole week so if its not because of fyp, I cant think of why I cant get to sleep every night. When I dun have sufficient sleep, I cant think. When I cant think, I'll drink coffee. And probably because I drink coffee, I cant sleep. Tell me wat to do.

Just a few more sleepless nights.
Just a few more cans of nescafe to keep me going in the day.
Just 1 or 2 more long meeting in the Prof's room.

And we're free from FYP on FRIDAY!!

I'm in the midst of my last, and probably the most fruitful recess week. Fyp is still taking lots of my time, but I'm happy that we're starting to see results, and I'm really grateful to have Sy and Wf who have been very understanding and fun to be with.

Besides fyp, I'm busy trying to sleep early. My body will protest whenever I sleep late by giving me a very swollen eye or cracked lips the next day. I almost went blind when my contacts got lost in my swollen eye that day so I'm really scared now. Trying to get myself on bed by 12am every night no matter wat.

By the way, I'm starting to like coffee. I cant start my day proper without a cup in the morning. It keeps me more awake than I usually am. When I start working, I'm gonna get myself a coffee machine and I'll make coffee for myself every morning. A Moka Pot would be fine too, if I manage to find one in Sg.

A quote from a coffee lover:
When I'm not at home, I'm in the cafe. When I'm not in the cafe, I'm on my way there.

Love how the Italians start their day by going to a cafe, enjoy their coffee, read the papers, then to work. Can we have such a lifestyle in Sg?