I think I'm good

I just have to do a few things: get changed into my swimming costume, pack my toiletries and get ready to walk to the swimming pool. Within that few minutes, I can make Sengkang rain!!!!! Without fail, it will happen. I'm really good.

Hey how's everyone? Haven been here for so long.. been just resting since exams ended, sent out lots of resumes but only had one interview so far.

So much have happened in the past one or two months.. and I haven been blogging since exams ended cos I needed some time for myself to sort out my thoughts and to accept all the things that happened. After a week I'm perfectly fine now.. no longer upset or unhappy over anything, and I hope to remain this way.. to stay happy no matter what, cos life is really that simple, good or bad, happy or sad.

Just finished a Hk drama 建築有情天. I dunno how I missed this show when it was aired in Hk 2years ago, but its a very motivating show. I'm envious of the architects in the show cos they're so passionate about their job. Having the passion is really good, cos u'll be sacrificing your sleep, weekends, holidays etc, but u're still a happy person cos its for something u really love.

Not too sure if this is convincing enough, but I always learn things from the Hk shows I watch, its really not just for fun or for Moses that I keep watching dramas. (he's not in this show but I love it so much) The thing about the dramas, they always have a message to convey and its always motivating! Probably its about the timing too, if I watch this show 2years ago it may not have any impact on me, but right now that I'm in the midst of looking for a suitable job, its helpful.

Talking about dramas, is the show 爱 that nice? I've heard that alot of dads, mums, grandparents like the show, my grandma is one of them. She was at my place today, and she didnt wanna go home with my uncle at 6.45pm cos she said she'll miss the front part of the show. For that 15mins of the show, she's willing to take public transport back at 10pm. Hahaha, so my drama addictions are inherited from my grandma!

I'm taking a break from portfolio management for a while, waiting for Moses' coffee show on scv at 10.30pm!! Exams started on 14th and will only end on 29th.. Its been dragging for too long I'll go crazy soon. Wanna have a really good sleep after exams, go swimming.. and my shows are waiting for me!

Had my last tutorial today, really LAST if I'm never going to be a student again. I've been quite certain that I wont wanna study again, yet deep down I'm hoping this is not the last.

Its a blessing to be a student, really. Its indeed stressful, we have tonnes of work, assignments, datelines to meet and all, but when u look back, dun u actually enjoyed the journey, probably met some good frens along the way, had some fun times together? And I think no matter how busy we are, once lessons end, its all our free time and up to us to decide wat to do with it. For the past 3years as a student, I think my friday has always been a free day. How nice is that? I'm going to miss this the most!

In less than a month's time I'm going to graduate, I'm just starting to wonder, how did the 3years past just like that? Its just so fast I think I missed out alot, from academic to non-academic, dropped some frens along the way and so on..

I'm actually having this strong feeling that I wanna be a student again, its so weird how this thought just came by so suddenly and strongly.. I hope it happens, but it will only happen when I find something I really like and would like to gain professional knowledge in that area, its not going to take place in the near future anyway, but I'll look forward to that. :)

Its an emotional night.. Must be the lack of sleep the past few days, and some things thats been kept in the heart for too long there's still no solution. It isnt resolved yet, but like wat Sy said, crying is a good way to throw some burden off. At least some was just thrown away, prob when I go to bed later, I will throw more.

Its back to the expectations that I have for people around me. With expectation there is always disappointment. I wanna just love myself and no one else. Sorry friends, its so selfish of me. But I dun wanna face all this shit anymore.

I had a very scary dream this morning that I woke up in tears! My roommate, my neighbour and I are all illegally staying in hall, and I dreamt that the hall people came to check our rooms when we were all sleeping, and they barged into our rooms while we were asleep. And they were all uncles! Then they started throwing our things out of the room, and we werent allowed to wash up or change. I started worrying for my exams, 3 weeks left and there's no place for me to study, so I started crying, then my roommate cried too. Then I woke up and found myself still safely on my bed, no uncles around, but I was in tears. Probably the dream was too real, and I realized how important my hall is, especially in the next few weeks!

After so many lessons learnt, I thought I'm better at judging people, but I'm not. I still suck at it. I'm disappointed with myself for falling for the same thing again and again.. I think life is really too short for u to keep making the same mistakes. Because we do take time to recover and build up confidence again. Probably I need to fall a few more times to become wise? I hope not.. cos it really hurts.

Been losing sleep like nobody's business, damn! Been doing nothing except fyp this whole week so if its not because of fyp, I cant think of why I cant get to sleep every night. When I dun have sufficient sleep, I cant think. When I cant think, I'll drink coffee. And probably because I drink coffee, I cant sleep. Tell me wat to do.

Just a few more sleepless nights.
Just a few more cans of nescafe to keep me going in the day.
Just 1 or 2 more long meeting in the Prof's room.

And we're free from FYP on FRIDAY!!

I'm in the midst of my last, and probably the most fruitful recess week. Fyp is still taking lots of my time, but I'm happy that we're starting to see results, and I'm really grateful to have Sy and Wf who have been very understanding and fun to be with.

Besides fyp, I'm busy trying to sleep early. My body will protest whenever I sleep late by giving me a very swollen eye or cracked lips the next day. I almost went blind when my contacts got lost in my swollen eye that day so I'm really scared now. Trying to get myself on bed by 12am every night no matter wat.

By the way, I'm starting to like coffee. I cant start my day proper without a cup in the morning. It keeps me more awake than I usually am. When I start working, I'm gonna get myself a coffee machine and I'll make coffee for myself every morning. A Moka Pot would be fine too, if I manage to find one in Sg.

A quote from a coffee lover:
When I'm not at home, I'm in the cafe. When I'm not in the cafe, I'm on my way there.

Love how the Italians start their day by going to a cafe, enjoy their coffee, read the papers, then to work. Can we have such a lifestyle in Sg?

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

To couples, stay happy and loving!

For the singles, forget any unhappy past and find a better one soon!

I've been very moody since sunday nite. The stupid fringe aside, I'm spending 90% of my time on the sucky FYP! My life is all about reading papers, one after another, never ending papers. And there's so much work to do before going for the new year break. Not in the mood for new year anymore. :(

The Haircut (2)

I was waiting for my turn to get my hair cut and was telling my mum I hope I dun get the Auntie (there were 5 of them - 2guys, 2ladies and 1 auntie). My mum was telling me its ok, if I really get the Auntie, I can ask the uncle after me to go ahead first. Then I was thinking its not very nice to do that, and its not nice to judge a person's professionalism by the age and appearance. So when it was my turn and I really got the Auntie, I decided to go ahead and not sabo the uncle after me. Thats how I got my new fringe.

Lesson learnt 1: When you choose not to be cruel to others, you're being cruel to yourself.

Lesson learnt 2: When you're a consumer, you have the right to fight for the best service you may get. And fight for it even if others may think you're calculative, picky, or watever, cos you're paying for it!

Lesson learnt 3: Dun act smart.

I still dun feel like going to sch later.

The Haircut

The purpose of this entry is to prepare those who will be meeting me in this 2weeks. I cut my fringe and its in quite a miserable state now. Its so miserably short I dunno how I'm going to face everyone from now on. My bro says he dun feel like talking to me cos he dun wanna see my hair and he told me not to put my head too near him!!!!

Dun feel like going to sch tmr!!

I'm happy cos there's finally something to look forward to in my life. Cant wait for exams to end, hope this time round everything goes smoothly.. CANT WAIT to meet M!!

2008十大勁歌金曲頒獎典禮

This year there's something special about the award ceremony - the 'senior' singers will pick a new singer to sing a song with them. If you're good, you dun have to worry about being picked. But if you're not up to the standard, then too bad. Bosco should go back to TVB to act. Its obvious he can't sing, especially when he's paired with Eason Chan, who didnt bother or could not save him.


Hacken Lee's voice is so damn good!

Had to wake up an hour earlier today at 8am to go for the volunteer work. At 8.20am, I was struggling, thinking if I should just drop an sms saying I have something on and wont be there. Staying committed is never easy. Thankfully I woke up and went, cos it was so fun! It was a little different today, instead of giving tuition, we played games with the kids. Its just so different playing with kids, they are so funny! Their actions, the things they do, the amount of energy they have... makes me happy. There was this game they had to blindfold themselves then run to the other side of the parade square to pass a sticker to their team member, I laughed like mad. When u're blindfolded, u really can walk in any weird direction. A P2 girl from my team almost walked into the canteen, which was quite a distance from where we were! Haha.

There were 3 brothers in my team, and I saw how united and cooperative they became when they were playing games! Kind of heartwarming to see a 13year old taking care instead of bullying his younger brothers. This was something I observed quite some time ago, I guess its generally true that the eldest in the family always turn out to be very sensible and obedient. The friends that I have who are the eldest in the family are always more tolerant and sensible. The younger ones always end up being demanding and spoilt. I'm a very good example! :)

I'm really envious of people who have cousins of around the same age. I do have many cousins, about 9 or 10 from my dad's side, but they're either married with kids, or the younger ones are still in sec sch. There's only my brother and I who's around this age. So we're unlike many of my frens, who have opportunities to hang out with cousins. Sometimes I feel bored just having my brother.

So I've decided, if I were to have kids in the future, I wanna have at least 3 or 4kids. And I'll keep their age gap within 1 or 2years so that they'll be close to one another. Then I'll persuade my bro to have many kids too, so my kids will have many cousins! We'll have a big and happy family, how lovely!! This is a long term resolution though..

As for 2009...

1) Hope I'll be able to find a job as soon as I graduate. Hopefully it would be related to finance and when I start working, I can find an area which I'm interested in and work towards it.

2) Really wish I could have more self-discipline. Need to be more consistent with my work, especially for fyp since we're on our own now.

3) Sleep early. This is really the toughest! Been talking about this for the longest time, and have never succeeded. I'll still try though.

4) Exercise regularly - swimming at least once or twice a week!

5) Be a better person - more tolerant towards everyone around me, be less demanding, be more forgiving. I wish I could stop badmouthing others, seriously. I know I complain too much about others, not realising I have many weaknesses too. Who am I to judge and criticise others?

I'm fortunate to have many good natured friends around me and I really have alot to learn from them. I've never heard them say a single bad thing about others and they think positively about others most of the time. I know I dun have such good traits within me, but I believe good habits can be cultivated.

Lets see if I can achieve any of this in 2009!

Happy 2009!

Before I end my first day of 2009, HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!! Have a happy and healthy year ahead, and hope everything that you wish for would come true!

I do have some new year resolutions too, but I'm too tired for anything now. Its a really good start for 2009, sleeping early on the first day!! One of the things I really wanna do is sleep early, thats the first step to good complexion and healthy lifestyle. I hope the bad habit of sleeping late ends with my holiday!

Jingyi, enlin and sarah are so mean!!! They make me so awake with the nasi lemak, teh ping, gossips and jokes, then they abandon me. Jy and en have gone home to sleep, sarah took my bed but I'm still so awake now I dunno what to do! Thinking of going for a swim since I'm rarely awake so early, but I'll sleep the rest of my day away if I do. And thats wasting a day of my precious holiday.

Anyway, the holidays are coming to an end soon! I've been doing nothing except watching dramas and shopping. I meant to take this one month break to fulfil some short-term goals and make some plans for my future, etc. Apparently I've done nothing of such. I continue to sleep late, wake up late and slack my days away without doing anything. Its my last holiday anyway, so heck it! 13more days to enjoy before hell begins infinitely! :)